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Nobody says he's dumb, but everyone says he's an asshole.

Anyone? Anyone?

  • What?

    First of all, you don’t ask the questions around here. I do. Second, we don’t want guys like him in this town. Drifters. Third, he wouldn’t like it here anyway. It’s a nice town full of friendly people.

  • You’re anonymous.

    Rahmbo has no problem with anonymity: that’s how he’s normally quoted in the press.

  • That’s playing dirty.

    We’re all a little afraid of the shower with Rahmbo around.

  • You stoop to name calling right in your masthead.

    “Nobody says he’s dumb, but everyone says he’s an asshole” is what his co-workers say about him, not us. We also considered Paul Begala’s description of Rahmbo as “a cross between a hemorrhoid and a toothache,” but felt it went too far and that not enough Chicago voters knew what either felt like. We trust that Paul Begala knows, though, and we’ll take his word for it.

  • He’s got clout!

    How is clout important for the mayor’s office of this fine city? That’s where the clout is created, the clout is the problem. Is he going to bring in extra federal funding now that he’s no longer part of the federal government? Are his connections going to cover the broken ass of our budget? Are Aarron Sorkin and Steven Speilberg going to donate a gazillion dollars to the city after they pay a gazillion dollars to buy our election? Will the tables suddenly turn and instead of Rahm bailing out Wallstreet, Wallstreet is going to post our bail?

  • He’s tough!

    Yeah, the ballerina from Wilmette is “tough.” Why? Because he swears? Come on, he went to New Trier. They make tougher at ETHS.

  • He knows how to run things!

    Seriously now, he can’t even operate an Arby’s meat slicer without hurting himself.

  • You took the pseudonym of the the villain in the first movie.

    Yes, in one of politics’ little ironies I’m the Sheriff of Hope. And what’s this about “villain?” I’m not the guy who blew Hope up.